Segata Sanshiro
Segata Sanshiro (in Japanese: せがた三四郎, Segata Sanshirō) is a recurring character in various commercials and video games created by Sega. Created by Sega in 1997, Segata Sanshiro is portrayed as a psychotic martial artist completely obsessed with promoting the Sega Saturn console for unknown reasons. In order to accomplish his goals, Segata searches Japan for people who either don't play or don't like the Sega Saturn and mercilessly beats them into submission, hoping to convince the world to play Sega Saturn, lest they face his wrath. Segata was portrayed by Japanese actor Hiroshi Fujioka, who is best known for portraying Takeshi Hongo in the Kamen Riders series. History Beginnings Before his ruthless campaign, Segata Sanshiro was merely a hermit living in the woods who had a particular fondness for two things; video games and martial arts. Day and night, Segata would harness both of these skills by training using a gigantic Sega Saturn console, until he was eventually both at the peak of the human condition and a master gamer. Noticing that his favorite system was slipping up in comparison to the N64 and PlayStation, Segata decided that the best course of action was to help Sega out by doing the one thing he was best at; decimating others in combat. Sega Saturn Campaign In his first attempt to promote the Sega Saturn, Segata found three students heading out to play baseball, only to stop them, terrifying them with his mere presence. Segata then beat the three children into unconsciousness and told the audience to play the Sega Saturn. For his next act, Segata arrived in a nightclub and, somehow, beat every single person there into unconsciousness with only three moves and told the audience to play the Sega Saturn. Soon after, a man foolishly challenged Segata to a martial arts battle and soon not only lost badly but lost his life when Segata used a judo throw that caused him to explode, twice, which Segata used as a convenient opportunity to advertise Saturn Bomberman as he walked away from the explosion. This formula would continue throughout Segata's merciless campaign; he would show up to a location, beat everyone around him into submission and tell the audience to play the Sega Saturn or else they would suffer the same unpleasant fate. However, on occasion, Segata would try alternate, less violent, strategies to promote the console, such as giving it to a group of children as a Christmas gift or showing it as a part of his daily training routines, or how physically superior he was to others because of it. When playing a professional soccer match as the Goalie, to prevent the opposing team from gaining a goal, Segata picked up and moved the entire goal, for which he receives a red card from the referee for. On other occasions, Segata would act far more heroic in order to advertise the console better, as shown when he tried to revive a mother who passed out when her house caught fire, but, as implied by the ending, he ended up taking performing "mouth to mouth" a bit too far. Death After the Sega Saturn started to outsell the competition in Japan, an evil man (who is heavily implied to be affiliated with either Nintendo or Sony) launched a massive missile at the Sega Headquarters in order to both kill everyone inside and eliminate the competition. As everyone in the building believes themselves to be doomed, Segata, who happened to be on top of the building, jumps down and catches the missile before redirecting it's course into space and sacrificing himself to destroy it, all while telling the audience to play Sega Saturn. Later Appearances Despite having "died" saving the Sega Headquarters from a missile, Segata makes numerous appearances in other forms of media. In the game Rent A Hero No.1, a martial arts master who bears striking resemblance to Segata appears as a tutor for the main character, claiming to have once been a great hero himself. In Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, Segata makes a cameo during the final lap of the Race of Ages stage, being seen redirecting a giant missile from the track while wearing his giant Sega Saturn console. In Project X Zone 2, Segata makes his first playable appearance outside of Japan. In issue #269 of the Sonic the Hedgehog Archie Comics series, Segata makes an appearance as one of the contestants in Breezie's martial arts tournament, taking no shame in losing to Sonic the Hedgehog. Other Appearances DEATH BATTLE! In one of his most notable appearances, Segata Sanshiro appears as a combatant in the online series DEATH BATTLE!, with his opponent being the one and only Chuck Norris. During Wizard & Boomstick's analysis of his character, they cite him as one of the most dangerous and terrifying creatures in Japanese lore, alongside Raiden and Kappas. After talking about his abilities and feats, Wizard analyzes his greatest feat of all; saving the Sega Headquarters from certain destruction, stating that the only possible way he could've caught the missile and stood on the glass window without at least cracking the glass was to make the missile he caught weigh less than it actually should have, meaning that he is exempt from the laws of physics and theoretically capable of almost anything. On top of that, despite being killed off, due to his later appearances in other games and comics, Boomstick states that not only is Segata alive, he's completely immortal. In the actual fight, Chuck Norris is seen watching TV when one of Segata's commercials interrupts his show and is playing on every single channel. Annoyed, Chuck pulls Segata out of the TV and crushes his giant Sega Saturn to dust. Segata and Chuck Norris then fight each other using their ridiculous abilities, Segata bouncing bullets off his body, Chuck Norris running around the world in seconds and punching Segata in the back of the head, etc. Eventually, after Segata multiplies himself, grows in size and begins to beat down on him, Chuck Norris launches the real Segata to the moon and then splits the entire Earth in two and crushes him with the left half. However, Segata responds by pulling off Saturn's Ring and throwing it at Chuck Norris, plunging him into the heart of the Sun, although, per one of his rumored abilities, he simply just turns the Sun's temperature up, destroying it and creating a supernova that obliterates the entire Milky Way Galaxy. Chuck Norris and Segata then deliver one final kick/punch to the other before vanishing. In the aftermath, Boomstick questions who won the fight and Wizard states that they are likely still fighting, although their instruments can't detect them any more. Wizard then states that they may have opened a rift in space-time, meaning that they may have ended up in another dimension or completely destroyed their plane of existence, and Boomstick states "god have mercy on where ever they ended up." Personality Segata Sanshiro is best described as absolutely merciless. Despite being well-intentioned (for Sega at least), he is completely brutal in his methods and cares little for how his actions will affect others. As stated earlier, he is completely willing to hurt innocent children to satisfy his goals, although he would stop doing so eventually, and is even willing to kill if necessary (although, since he is advertising a video game console, killing is all too far from necessary). Despite his unbelievably brutal methods, Segata is, in some sense, a heroic character, as he is willing to save others and help people out of the good in his heart, or rather, if he feels his heroic actions will help advertise the Sega Saturn better. Powers and Abilities *'Superhuman Strength': Segata, as a result of his training or otherwise, is unbelievably strong; he can kick a baseball so hard it flies out of the stadium, can kick airborne cars several feet upwards and stopped and redirected a missile flying at least several hundred miles per hour. *'Superhuman Endurance': Segata can endure having multiple baseballs being shot in his chest at 90 miles per hour and can somehow survive in the vacuum of space. *'Superhuman Speed': Segata once completely outran an Olympic level ice skater on ice without wearing any foot protection, on another occasion, he easily ran at least 60 miles on ice without breaking a sweat, yet again without foot protection. Segata can also throw dozens of punches in seconds. **'Exemption From Friction': As shown by his outrunning of the Olympic skater, Segata could potentially be removed from the basic laws of friction, as he didn't even come close to slipping. *'Martial Arts': Segata is a dan holder in Judo, Karate, Iaidou, Battoudou, Toudou, etc. *'Invulnerability': As stated earlier, Segata, despite being killed off by the explosion of the missile he was holding, has somehow appeared in multiple other games and an issue of the Sonic Comic series, which is even more confusing, as the Sonic's home planet, Mobius, is actually the Earth thousands of years in the future. Some have theorized that the shooting star that appeared at the end of his final commercial was actually Segata returning to Earth. *'Self Replication and Size Changing': Showcased in one commercial, Segata apparently has the ability to clone himself an unknown number of times. In the same commercial, he also either grew himself or one of his clones to gigantic size. *'Exploding Judo Throw': Segata's trademark move: Segata somehow has the ability to throw a person so hard that they explode twice upon impact with the ground. It is unknown how he does this, but, like with most of his abilities, it is best not to question why. *'Matter Manipulation': As stated by Wizard in the Death Battle episode, the only way Segata could have stopped the missile on the glass pane without cracking it was to have made the missile weight less than it logically should have, meaning that he is theoretically capable of almost anything. Trivia *Segata Sanshiro is apparently dating Sakura Shinguji from Sakura Wars. How or why he is dating a video game character will likely never be revealed. *''Nintendo Power'' journalist Steve Thomason singled out Segata Sanshiro as the character he would most like to control in the Nintendo DSi game Photo Dojo, stating that "it's just a shame his greatest skill – throwing opponents to make them explode – couldn't be translated to the game." *Segata Sanshiro is a parody of Sugata Sanshirō, a legendary judo master from Sanshiro Sugata. 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